Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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