Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
