i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
