Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
