I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
