He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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