Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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