After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
