idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
