just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize
