Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
