"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
