More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
