So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
