honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
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