we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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