I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
