she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
