I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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