so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
