White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
