4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
