thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
