Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
