Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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