so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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