She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
