Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
