For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
