Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
