if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
