i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
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YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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