I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
