before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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