Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Randomize
