yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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