who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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