that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
