Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
home. puking in laundry basket.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
there is puke in my bra ... again
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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