he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
