I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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