i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
