On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
