Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
50% drunk capacity currently
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
