That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
