Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
