i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
