is your mom at the bar?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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