you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
