Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
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Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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