My balls are so social today.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
