If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I am available for nakedness
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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