what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
