Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize