Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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