every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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