I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
