just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
