somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
did you just send me my own nude
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
