: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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