I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
