Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
