So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
