and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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