News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
being pregnant is like rehab
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
