omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
